Popcorn by Sam Pink
My girlfriend paid for me to go to a movie with her.
Standing in line to get drinks and popcorn, someone behind us said, “Excuse me.”
It was an old man wearing a baseball hat with the Chicago flag on it.
He was pointing at our stuff.
He said, “Uh, pardon me, what size was that you got there.”
I said, “Medium, I think. Yeah.”
He said, “Oh ok, medium, that’s good” making the “ok” sign and nodding, “That’s what I want, I’ll get that size then.”
“Yeah it’s good,” I said, distinctly unaware of what the fuck I was talking about.
I half-expected him to put his hand on my shoulder and say, “Son, what the fuck are you talking about.”
While my girlfriend paid, the old man told me about the movie he was there to see and also what movies he wanted to see.
Then he referenced this older actress in an upcoming movie and how much he loved her and how—even at seventy years old—she could “still walk it, still talk it.”
He whistled once, rolling his eyes as if unable to tolerate how good she still looked.
“Yeah yeah,” I said, smiling and nodding.
Been saying “yeah” twice as a response—not to mean “I don’t believe you” but to say yeah twice.
“You bet,” said the guy, smiling. “Alright then, have a nice night.”
He took his hand out of his pocket and tapped my elbow, stepping forward to order.
“Have a nice night,” I said.
Me and my girlfriend walked away.
We walked down a brightly lit hallway to get to our theatre,
I said, “Fuck, like, if I went out to a movie alone, I wouldn’t want to bother anyone by talking to them. I’d stand there telling myself not to bother anyone. But then, he talked to me, and I liked it, so.”
“Yeah,” my girlfriend said. “Did you see how nasty his teeth were.”
I didn’t say anything.
Just walked down the hallway thinking, “Fuck you” then more like “fuuuuhhhh-cuueeee”— in a terrible, phlegmy scream—directed first at my girlfriend, then at her and everyone else, then back at me, with a “welcome home” of me not reacting at all.
Go check out his blog - he’s a special dude with lots of published goodness. And he’s hot, too (http://electricliterature.com/blog/2013/03/15/sam-pink-kills-it-at-the-launch-party-for-rontel/)